HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIFENG!

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For those having exams,

All the best!

 

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Taken from http://www.electric-escape.net/node/509

The Creative Writing Assignment

In-class Assignment for Wednesday

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

---

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans.

The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semiliterate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.

---

And gosh, a tooth-fairy rejection letter! http://www.electric-escape.net/node/515

Dear <insert child's name here>:

Thank you for leaving ____ tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

____ the tooth could not be found

____ it was not a human tooth

____ we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

____ we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

____ the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash

____ the tooth did not originally belong to you

____ the tooth fairy does not process fingernails

____ your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action

____ you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy

____ you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received

____ the tooth is still in your mouth

____ the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit

____ no night light was on at the time of our visit

____ the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing

____ we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:

[    ] string
[    ] pliers
[    ] gunpowder
[    ] hammer marks
[    ] chisel
[    ] no dental care

____ other:

Instead of the usual redemption, we have provided the following discount certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy

Darren

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Alright, Happy Birthday MJ aka Kenneth's dirty little secret. No la.. HAHA!

Anyways, update on our next SG outing, its happening on 1st July (Sunday). I thought of doing something adrenaline pumping, like underwater basket weaving (i'm kidding..) , but realized it costs alot of money and well, there is no common time for all of us to come together and have heaps of fun.

So, in a simple dimple fashion, we'll just meet for a nice birthday dinner to celebrate MJ, Michelle and Derrick's day of existence. Who knows what other interesting things to pop up next?

Anyway, to MJ, you better come on 1st July okay.. No excuses this time. HAHA..

Right, people pls email me to confirm, complain, moan, exclaim or whatever. Or you can flood the tagboard below.


Asher

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HAPPY BDAE MING JUN!! WE <3 YOU!!!

Bdae song for you! (Just a joke.. heheh)

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SUKI DAYO, SG17~!!

watashi <3 SG17

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Love, Me

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said "Boy, you might not understand but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none but I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said"

Chorus:
If you get there before I do don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darlin' wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her his eyes filled up with tears

Chorus

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me

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Alright people, you've read the email, gotten the sms. Now its the invasion of the blog post!

Okay, I'm being slightly retarded here so lets get down to business.

Yesterday's SG outing was fantastic, it was a great way to catch up, though it was only two weeks since we all last saw each other. The few of us who stayed back in cine to hang out (aka "The Remnants") had ice-cream in that Maestro-cafe thingy. We even had the gall to play "Tuki Tuki" right there and then, though I must say that while embarrasing, it was a great way to pass the time.

So, we're on for our next SG outing, and everyone SHOULD make it..when I say everyone, I also mean the everyone who did not turn up yesterday.. (am I making any dollars and sense?)

We are hoping to have the outing before all of us start school again... So far, KS and Kenneth have offered the suggestions of ice-skating and cycling respectively. But I can't cycle so thats a no-no. =P We need more ideas so that I won't have to spend 20 minutes asking "Where are we going next?" again....

So please please, read your email and reply back to me on the dates of your availability and what we should do when we meet... Alright?

Asher out...-

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Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year."

She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"
The owner said,
"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that
should be sent to you
the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.

Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.

Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.

 

TIME TO PRESENT THE PARADOX...awww the sad part

What kinds of rings are there?

Phone ringing --> engagement ring --> wedding ring --> Boring --> suffering --> Boxing ring (divorce) 

I just found this in my email and posted for fun...

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